Even just five years ago, my mother and I were at odds so often that it felt foreign to me when I WASN'T mad at her. I was the perfect, textbook example of the bratty teenage daughter who thought her mom was old-fashioned and uncool and didn't know anything about anything... but they say the older you get, the smarter your parents get. and boy, they aren't kidding. my mom has become one of my best friends and most trusted confidantes (within reason, of course), and if I told my fifteen-year-old self that I would ever have that relationship with my mom, I would flat-out called me crazy.

I just wish I could go back in time and shake myself by the shoulders and say "you IDIOT, she's your MOTHER, she knows BETTER than you do, stop being such a twit and give her the respect she deserves." or better yet, I wish I could do that to my little sister... or any girl who had the same mentality I did. but then, when I think back, I probably WAS told that a time or two and it didn't do anything to change me.

I'm just glad I came to my senses, now, at age 20, and can give my mother's advice the attention it deserves. I just had a long conversation-filled dinner with her (one of many, now that I'm getting older) and I cannot stress enough how much I love this woman, and every time I notice a quirk about myself that reminds me of her I am literally thrilled. because she is amazing, and talented, and resourceful, and kind, and wise, and caring, and generous, and I could go on and on. and even if it means I'll have to go through the better part of a decade fighting with my OWN daughter down the line, I will still be incredibly honored if I turn out to be just like her.

Accounting is a strange thing. It's very appropriately titled, to be an accountant. My job entails, most prominently if not oversimplified, accounting for things... primarily money. Which mostly means that a really big part of my job are those little window-envelopes that say "Attention Accounts Payable" or "Bill to:" or something invoice-interpretable. And I slice them open and stack them and sort them and ACCOUNT for them on a spreadsheet I type up weekly.

Something sprang from this process, a quirk about myself that I didn't even know I had. I need color. I don't mean I prefer it, I don't mean it brightens my life but I can live without it, I mean I need it. Flipping through hundreds of invoices, all in black-and-white, 12-point Times New Roman font is exhausting if I don't get to decorate my life with little splashes of pink post-it note or neon green highlighter.

Color has taken on a whole new importance to me lately. For one thing, my little colorful set of office supplies serves its primary purpose: They catch my attention. If there's a 3'' orange post-it note on a stack of faxes I know it means I should read that before I do anything else. Or if one word is highlighted on a document I know my eyes should be drawn to it before trudging through eight paragraphs to get to it. But it's also done wonders for my organizational skills: pen-wise, my boss always signs things off in blue ink. So if I see a blue set of initals at the bottom of a page I know that this stack of whateveritis is probably ready to be sent out. Blue, then, has become a color of purpose. Also: the brighter the color I choose to mark something or highlight with, the more important it probably is. Green highlighter is really just for my own knowledge, not anything I need to worry about but more of just an FYI. Yellow highlighter is a little more severe... put it on your to-do list but it's nothing to write home about. Orange highlighter means I should probably take care of this before I leave today, because someone is probably waiting for whatever it is. And if I use pink or red highlighter, oh my gosh I had better get on that as fast as my puny typing skills will allow.

It's also more of just a welcome relief than anything, though. Paperwork after more paperwork after more paperwork and emails and faxes and invoices and memos and blah blah blah gets really old really fast without a bright green paperclip to hold it all together. I sent reports to our corporate office held together with colored paperclips, and I hoped that someone opened our interdepartmental delivery envelope and had a moment of satisfaction thanks to the departure from the traditional metal nonsense. I'd like to believe I brightened someone's day that way.

In any case, let's hear it for color. Because honestly, I don't know how the real world, let alone the corporate world, could ever do without it.

I won employee of the quarter!

...I keep going back and forth on whether or not to be excited about it, or feel super geeky about it.

so far I basically feel super geeky about the fact that I'm really excited about it.

you will watch me go through best friend stages... number one is always kyle, but my number two fluctuates based on who I'm hanging out with most. but pretty standard are the twins, Catie and Cara. Catie just came home from Missouri where she's been away at college for two years, so right now I'm going to refer to her as my best friend.

the other day she and I had a long talk walking on the beach, and we both agreed that it was time for our lives to start coming together in a positive, healthy way. we talked about energies and how you have to give positive energy in order to receive it, and how we should be more focused on generating positive energy in our lives.

it all sounds very new-agey, I know. catie's more into that than I am. but I still agree with the basic principles of it. it's about making positive choices, healthy decisions. it starts with body but eventually leads to balance in the mind and soul as well.

in any case. I really took it to heart, and I actually have been trying to incorporate it into my life. my road rage has subsided, if not entirely disappeared. I'm trying to eat earlier in the day, and I'm trying to establish an acquaintanceship with vegetables, something I have not had a desire for in over 20 years of life.

so, bottom line, positive changes. I'll keep you posted with how long this lasts.